A leadership lesson from a Gangster and a stripper

I have to admit I am still obsessed with watching the Soprano’s.  The show has technically been off for almost a decade now.  I have watched each episode I can’t tell you how many times, lets just say it is a lot and I still do watch them.

One of my favorite episodes (Lets be honest, I have several) but in episode 32 Ralphie one the members of Tony’s crew is in a relationship with Tracee, a stripper from the Bada Bing, Tony’s strip club.

You can click here to get the summary of the entire episode.  Ultimately the stripper gets pregnant and Ralphie kills the girl before the end of the episode.

What I am reminded of in this episode is this:  In a quick exchange between Tony and Tracee the stripper, she asks him for his advice.  And during the conversation Tracee tells Tony that she is pregnant and that the baby is Ralphies.  They then have the following exchange.

Tracee: “He acts like he doesn’t care about me or the child.” 

Tony Soprano: “Did you ever think that maybe he isn’t acting?”  

This exchange can pretty sum up most of life in many ways. And that is that people will tell us who they are by the way they act and their behaviors.  They are not acting like an actor does in a movie or TV show.  Nope! We are in real life here aren’t we?  And people who act a certain way, aren’t acting.  They are just being who they are.

As a leader I have to look at a person’s actions and determine if their behaviors (actions, (acting)) is congruent with what they are telling me. In some cases they are not.  Their actions will always tell me exactly where they stand and in many cases so do their words.  Sometimes people will tell you one thing in their words and another with their actions, but most of the time they are the same.

So what do we do?

As always in leadership our goal first is to set the expectations.  Secondly, we establish the measurements by which the expectations will be measured.  Lastly, we hold them accountable.

When a persons actions are not meeting our expectations of them and the job, it is up to us to hold them accountable to the actions and behaviors they are displaying for us on the job.

What are your team members telling you by their actions and behaviors?

To your success and your future.